Don’t let the morning come
I can smell the dew on my windowsill
Don’t let the morning come
I just want her to remain laying still
Because when she wakes up
I know she'll remember what I’ve done before
Because when she wakes up
I know she won’t be coming around here no more
Don’t let the morning come
Let that sun just take a little longer
Don’t let the morning come
I know she can no longer be any stronger
Lord, I know I’ve done her wrong
And I don’t have any right to Pray
Lord, I know I’ve done her wrong
But just for one more minute let her stay
So Please, don’t let the morning come
Because we both know I’ll never change
Don’t let that morning come
Just let for one more minute she remain
Friday, October 16, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Sorry Me
My Mom used to tell me that my apologies meant nothing because I said I was sorry so much. It’s like the boy who called wolf, I would mess up constantly thinking that pouty eyes and the phrase “I’m Sorry” would give me exoneration from whatever devious act I was involved in. Rarely did I really feel sorry for what I had done. Most of the time if it meant I was in trouble, I enjoyed doing it; therefore the apology was just a way to ease the sentencing. Therefore, my Mom caught on and they had little impact on her verdict.
Well, I’m no longer getting in trouble by my Mother for coloring on the walls with blue crayons. It’s no longer the punishment I fear when she finds out that I’ve done something wrong. Instead, as we get older and our parents give way from disciplinarians to confidants, it’s the guilt of letting her down. It’s also the guilt for whoever my bad deed had caused pain. And the hardest part of all, is the guilt in letting yourself down.
Apologizing gets more complicated, just as the things we feel the need to apologize for do. Is sorry going to mend a broken heart as she throws things at your head? Is sorry going to persuade that cop to not ask you to blow in that breathalyzer? Is sorry going to get your job back if you screw up? Odds are, no.
Your Mom is also not going to punish you for these types of things. Instead, you’ll punish yourself thinking that you’ve disappointed her; something that wouldn’t have passed through a single synapse when a child. You’ll feel the need to tell her all about how you messed up, waiting for those judging eyes to tell you what you did was wrong. Instead though, without needing to even apologize, your Mom looks upon you with forgiving eyes and words of encouragement.
The worst apology that rarely is given is the apology to oneself. Very seldom do we look in the mirror and say I’m sorry for screwing up. It’s the one person, when being an adult, that you need to apologize the most to. Your behaviors of ill gotten acts have damaged nobody more then the consequences you face. Yet we rarely apologize. Even less do we forgive ourselves.
I found this to be one of my strongest flaws lately. I’ve done nothing truly wrong, haven’t drowned any kittens or gone on destructive act of vandalism, just the normal stuff we find ourselves waking with guilt from. Breaking a heart or being a drunken ass. Times when I know what I’ve done was wrong. I no longer need my Mother standing over me grilling me with those eyes. She did a great job of instilling values in me, but sometimes I push those values aside for selfish cravings of debauchery or lust. However, when looking upon what I’ve done, I feel guilty; worse then when I would break a house hold rule and my only concern was the punishment my parents were about to hand down.
So next time you screw up, and we all will screw up again, make sure to apologize to the one person that is taking the mistake the hardest, yourself. And even more important, forgive yourself for that mistake. Besides, we’re only human.
Well, I’m no longer getting in trouble by my Mother for coloring on the walls with blue crayons. It’s no longer the punishment I fear when she finds out that I’ve done something wrong. Instead, as we get older and our parents give way from disciplinarians to confidants, it’s the guilt of letting her down. It’s also the guilt for whoever my bad deed had caused pain. And the hardest part of all, is the guilt in letting yourself down.
Apologizing gets more complicated, just as the things we feel the need to apologize for do. Is sorry going to mend a broken heart as she throws things at your head? Is sorry going to persuade that cop to not ask you to blow in that breathalyzer? Is sorry going to get your job back if you screw up? Odds are, no.
Your Mom is also not going to punish you for these types of things. Instead, you’ll punish yourself thinking that you’ve disappointed her; something that wouldn’t have passed through a single synapse when a child. You’ll feel the need to tell her all about how you messed up, waiting for those judging eyes to tell you what you did was wrong. Instead though, without needing to even apologize, your Mom looks upon you with forgiving eyes and words of encouragement.
The worst apology that rarely is given is the apology to oneself. Very seldom do we look in the mirror and say I’m sorry for screwing up. It’s the one person, when being an adult, that you need to apologize the most to. Your behaviors of ill gotten acts have damaged nobody more then the consequences you face. Yet we rarely apologize. Even less do we forgive ourselves.
I found this to be one of my strongest flaws lately. I’ve done nothing truly wrong, haven’t drowned any kittens or gone on destructive act of vandalism, just the normal stuff we find ourselves waking with guilt from. Breaking a heart or being a drunken ass. Times when I know what I’ve done was wrong. I no longer need my Mother standing over me grilling me with those eyes. She did a great job of instilling values in me, but sometimes I push those values aside for selfish cravings of debauchery or lust. However, when looking upon what I’ve done, I feel guilty; worse then when I would break a house hold rule and my only concern was the punishment my parents were about to hand down.
So next time you screw up, and we all will screw up again, make sure to apologize to the one person that is taking the mistake the hardest, yourself. And even more important, forgive yourself for that mistake. Besides, we’re only human.
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